2 Aaron Altmans in one week!!!!

He, of the sweating character in Broadcast News, one of James Brooks' gems. In one scene, he loses the anchor desk to the William Hurt character (Tom Grunick) and is coaching Hurt while giving the information to Holly Hunter (Jane Craig). He gets Altman's POV through his earpiece and almost repeats verbatim, what Aaron is telling Jane. He is so amazed by the process at one point he shakes his head and says' "I say it here, and it comes out there." Well I had two Altmans this week and I'm pretty damned tickled. In my New Years Day post (WHY), I mentioned Nancy Kerrigan getting kneecapped by the Tonya (Liz Cheney) Harding team prior to the 1994 Winter Olympics in  Lillehammer. Check out today's story in USA Today. My second Altman regards my halftime tweet of the Colts/Chiefs game yesterday. I reminded people of Frank Reich (A Maryland Terrapin, by the way) and the Bills storming back from a 32 point deficit on January 3rd, 1993 to beat the Houston Oilers. Well, Andrew Luck had a Reichy type day and though it was 28 points, the Colts fans went home happy.

Ask my wife. I do this shit all the time. I would imagine everybody does now and then. You should be proud. So in our new lexicon, "having an Altman" is a golden moment. Enjoy them. You go to the top of the heap in your world of friends-- if only for 5 minutes or so. It reminds me of the guy who, after hearing the Grateful Dead noodle before doing a song and predicted what it was and had a lifetime winning percentage of 97%. And I saw a lot of shows. But for one moment, it's fun to say something where people stop and say- 'that's pretty funny.'

Chicago weather is brutal today. Wind is howling, we have a one foot + snowfall on the ground and it's still snowing. Tomorrow, the high will be -15, wind chills possibly in the -40's. We've been the ground zero for global warming for a pretty long time, so a real extended winter event is a rarity.  I feel badly for Packer fans. That is going to be really challenging.

One of good friends was in Boston recently and was listening to Sox fan talk ab out having won three world series championships in the past 9 years. Dynasty, right? My friend reminded him, the Red Sox had indeed won, their 3rd World Series in 99 years. You can't wipe out 86 years of failure. Ya gotta add it in.

Respect Mother Nature if you're in the bad weather zone. And if you are, please check on the elderly neighbor that will appreciate it if you do. You may save a life. That's better than an Altman I do have a follower in Malaysia and one in Indonesia, so to them, well--- hello.

For today, goodbye. See you tomorrow.

Why?

A very oft used word. When something happens and we're at a loss to come to terms with whatever the it is we ask why. Annie Lennox made a lot of money singing about why. Tonya Harding* didn't want to lose her spot on the Olympic Women's figure skating team, so in 1994, she hired some goon to whack Nancy Kerrigan, her rival in the knee with some sort of metal pipe. Instead of Harding being ridiculed for this loutish behavior, Kerrigan got all the raspberries for being on the ground and screaming why; in that now famous manner.

So it's late and one of my favorite commercials comes on for Humira, an oft prescribed medication used in the treatment of psoriasis, rheumatoid arthritis and other maladies. In this one, it opens in a haircutting facility and the woman is embarrassed by her psoriasis. Big Pharma pays a lot of money to advertise on television and if they hit you with the cure to your ills long enough, they hope you will take their advice and ask your doctor if their medication is right for you.

But the drug companies have to mention what side effects their miracles may wreak upon the taker. So as the woman is smiling serenely as she lays back in the bowl, getting her hair washed-- which by the way is brilliant because if you know anything about cranio sacral therapies (of which I think a wash is one) you know what the memory of that sensation is when you get your hair washed. Really good, right? Unless your washer pulls your hair, that's not good.

But as she smiles because she's gotten over her insecurities about a visible rash that other people see, the announcer is soothingly saying three of the possibilities of taking this drug are tuberculosis, lymphoma and death. Are you fucking kidding me? This would be a moment that if I could, I would blubber my lips like Lewis Black does in his comedy. Some things are best left to our imaginations, but plug Mr. Black's hysterical cadences into this simple commercial. And write your congressman and ask him to investigate. You can tell I am older. When I was growing up, if something pissed me off and I asked why, my mother would would brush me off and tell me to write my congressman and ask him. There were an average of 14 women in the House of Representatives in the 1950's but I was not too aware of whom they were. If they weren't from my state, they probably were not too excited that I was pissed off about anything. I do remember Margaret Chase Smith from Maine.

So, today's humstle pays tribute to the 1950's elegy written by Eddie Cochran and his manager, Jerry Capehart- the best line in it was, " Oh well I wrote my congressman and he said quote: I'd like to help you son, but you're too young to vote." Summertime Blues. Does anyone remember the heavy metal version by BLUE CHEER? Yes, I have Vincebus Eruptis.

*Tonya Harding's Doppelganger???? Liz Cheney. Can I get an AMEN?

See you tomorrow.